Love how you love
Updated: Jun 1, 2020
I have friends, who over the years, have said things such as, “I have to take a break from social media over Valentine’s Day.”
What they are saying is they feel like their relationship is less than “hers” by the posts on social media that reflect differently than how their relationship shows love.
What they are feeling when they say this is not uncommon territory for most of us.
We see “her” pictures of amazing gifts and showers of affection from her spouse and we feel somehow our marriage is lacking, even if those posts are not even how we show love in our marriages.
We see “her” husband doting on her through loving words in a carefully crafted social media status and we think our relationship is lacking because our husband is not writing words of affirmation for us.
Here is the thing to remember…
That’s their love, not yours.
That is part of how her husband shows love, that is the way she receives love.
But you should not feeling lacking because you and your husband do not love in the same ways.
I understand those feelings creeping in, I have felt those too.
I have seen the carefully crafted social posts and thought, “Wow that is love.”
But then I checked myself, no that is THEIR love.
You may see the friend who has a stunning, break the bank, piece of jewelry gifted to her tomorrow. It will sparkle and shine and light up your social media feed with it’s brilliance. That is awesome! Cheer for her, because that is part of the love in her marriage.
Tomorrow, you may see the surprise dinners, unexpected bouquets, and perfectly crafted social media posts…
That is awesome, smile and cheer for her, because that is part of how her relationship shows love.
My husband is not the love note type, he is not the one to publicly craft the perfect social media post affirming our love, because that is not how we love.
I won’t receive flowers, or diamonds tomorrow because he knows that is not how we love.
Those things have never been present in our seventeen years,
but in these past seventeen years he has shown me an abundance of overflowing love.
We didn’t find our love in carefully crafted words or gifts that represent how we feel.
But instead we found our love sitting across from one another eating tacos at our favorite dive Mexican joint.
We found our love saying no words at all, sitting side by side on a porch swing, swaying back and forth and looking at the stars.
We found our love sitting side by side, hand in hand in a church pew.
We found our love laughing and talking while having dates on the couch, eating pizza and wings while watching our weekly TV show.
We choose to celebrate our love on Valentines Day the same way we found it all those years ago…
In the ordinary moments of eating tacos and looking at the stars.
So if you‘re one who gets the diamond,
that is amazing, show it to the world tomorrow and celebrate how you love!
If you are the one with the affirmations posted online, share it, celebrate and show the world how you love!
If you are like me and your Valentines will be spent meeting on a lunch break for a quick lunch with your spouse, share it, celebrate it because that is how you love!