My husband did something a couple weeks ago that annoyed me, and honestly I cannot remember what exactly it was he did, he apologized but I remember my thoughts after were not in forgiveness.
In my annoyance I remember thinking, “I’m going to remember this next time he wants something from me and I won’t do it and this will be my example why.” Instantly as soon as that thought hit my mind I had a second thought, “love does not keep a record of wrongs.” It was utterly bizarre that my unforgiving thought in anger was immediately replaced by a gentle thought from scripture.
Immediately I knew that was the Holy Spirit living in me, immediately I knew that was God’s word I have hidden in my heart. My annoyance melted away almost in an instant and I told my husband I accepted his apology and I curled up next to him.
I can tell you the old me, the one before Christ, wouldn’t have forgave, she would have carried that annoyance through the night, she would have slept with her back to him, even though he apologized, just to make him feel a consequence. The old me, she would have held onto that annoyance in her back pocket as a tally mark on a sheet of wrongs and she would have used it to justify her actions when she was the one who did wrong. Can I just say how happy I am that God has washed that old me away! I still have pieces of her creep in but the Holy Spirit continues to reveal the new me. (Romans 6:6—For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—)
My husband didn’t mean to do something to upset me, the thing is he never does. He never sets out to hurt me and I never intend to hurt him, but we are imperfect people so sometimes our choices and our actions will be wrong or perceived as wrong by one another.
If you plan to continue moving forward in your marriage you have to reflect Christ towards one another, you have to stop keeping a record of wrongs, you have to forgive one another when mistakes are made—and we all are going to make mistakes. Put each other first, speak fruitfully into each other’s hearts, be selfless and let go of selfish ambitions, love one another as Christ loves. Forgive as Christ forgives, hide scripture in your heart and listen to the conviction of the Holy Spirit.