• Faithfully Failing Him

I look at you sweet baby and I wonder

I look at your chubby cheeks and smooth baby skin and I wonder what you will look like when you are five— the age of your sister.

I wonder if those plump cheeks will disappear into a heart shaped face like hers.

I wonder if your lashes will stay thick and dark.

I wonder if your strawberry blonde will darken to a brunette.

I wonder if you be tall for your age like your sister, if you will be outgoing like your dad or reserved and shy like me.

I wonder if you will be interested in ballet or be more of a soccer girl.

I wonder if you will be pink, glitter, and all things sparkly and bows or if you will be sneakers and grass stains, digging in the dirt and catching frogs.

I sometimes look at you and I can’t fathom your teen years, I try to picture what you will look like but my mind can’t seem to transform those chubby cheeks and short strawberry curls into a young lady.

Sometimes when we are out I will see a teenage girl with your same strawberry locks and your same big round ocean blue eyes, and I will try to picture you at that age.

You will giggle, my attention will turn and once again all my mind can see are those chubby cheeks and your baby smile and I can’t picture you any other way than the you of right now.

As I rock you to sleep each night, I am weary and worn from the day.

My mind is as tired as my body and I look at you and wonder what motherhood will be like for you.

Will you be like me, late thirties and feeling the age of latter motherhood, will you be a young mom or will motherhood even be a hat you want to wear.

I wonder what career you will want, what kind of man you will marry.

I wonder if you will love God and if you will live to light His kingdom here on earth.

As I rock you each night sweet baby I look at you with your chubby cheeks and baby smooth skin and I wonder.

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